#118

oddballsdontbounce:

this was not a love,

this was a thing we did to kill time between
the wars we waged against our own bodies.
the best of intentions,
gone rancid. i forgave myself
and stopped trying to throw my own skin out with the bath water.

i learned to hold my breath
when you put your hands away. i forgive you.
my hair is shorter now, my ears all marked up with metal.
my throat is clean of your name. i forgive you.

now i am mine to keep.
i forgive you. i am mine to keep. i forgive you.
go home.

42 notes
Please stop calling.
Don’t you see? Your home is not in my bones anymore. Baby, it was good while it lasted, but I cannot swallow the distance between us or the anger that climbs up my throat when I know you’ve only fallen in love with the idea of me. I don’t even know what your voice sounds like; I used to dream about kissing you, but now your text messages make me flinch. We weren’t meant for this. Lock your doors against my ghost and find a girl who won’t be afraid to tell you her real name. I wasn’t born to be your shelter. I know I promised forever to you with ink and blood, but I’ve always had a liar’s mouth – it’s part of being a poet. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m no good at this. I’m sorry.
Please stop calling.
Please stop calling. I Deleted Your Number, I Wish You’d Do the Same
321 notes

One day you will
meet someone
who glows with a
light that sets fire
to your heart, and
if you are lucky,
you will spend the
rest of your life
next to this person,
warmed by a light
that can never die.

I pray that when you
find this person,
they never leave;
because the sad truth is,
most of the time we meet
someone who lights a room
within our hearts and it’s
inside this room we remain.

The sad truth is,
we spend the rest
of our lives warmed by
a fire lit by someone
who only stuck around
to share a spark.

 ||  Maza-Dohta 

(via maza-dohta)

1,775 notes

(Source: instagram.com, via nevver)

I want you. That doesn’t mean that I do not appreciate and love others, but sometimes I simply want you, you alone. It means I want to be alone with you and it means I need some time for us. Because I love us, I love us in terms of us simply being and socializing with others and sharing what there is to share throughout our days but sometimes I want us even more. I want us to the point of truly, deeply just wanting us and I don’t know whether that’s possessive but you live in my brain too much and I’m probably overthinking this just as usual but it still comes back to being what it is. I cherish everything. I want you to know that. I cherish our mutual acquaintances and friends, I cherish our distinct moments throughout the day, I cherish the little gaps and the pauses and I cherish the flow of it all and I absolutely cherish the fact that you’ve made me part of your life and the fact that you’ve given me the opportunity to experience myself whilst experiencing and exploring the world of yours but, shit, sometimes I want you so much. I choose you too much. I love you too much and, sometimes, just sometimes, the intensity is unbearable and I don’t quite succeed in not leting it transfix me to the depths of my soul and I don’t quite succeed in having to appear confident in myself and kind to the people we both care about when I know they’re not the ones to actually blame for my not being present or cheerful enough during such moments, and I am sorry for not pretending enough when I solely wish to spend a quiet, uneventful day of silence and lovely routine with you and I am sorry I am not sorry, I’ve been wanting you for so long. All These Things You Wish You’d Say
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3. When he asks to see your body, show him your fists.
10 Things I Wish My Mother Had Taught Me | d.a.s 
3,796 notes
4. Do not try to be pretty. You weren’t meant to be pretty; you were meant to burn down the earth and graffiti the sky. Don’t let anyone ever simplify you to just “pretty.”
10 Things I Wish My Mother Had Taught Me | d.a.s
3,796 notes
8. ‘No’ is your friend. Practice saying it in the mirror so it will slip out like venom when he puts his hands on you.
10 Things I Wish My Mother Had Taught Me | d.a.s
3,796 notes

(Source: pyrrhics, via neonnubian)

Humbly let go. Let go of trying to do, let go of trying to control, let go of my own way, let go of my own fears. Let God blow His wind, His trials, oxygen for joy’s fire. Leave the hand open and be. Be at peace. Bend the knee and be small and let God give what God chooses to give because He only gives love and whisper a surprised thanks. This is the fuel for joy’s flame. Fullness of joy is discovered only in the emptying of will. And I can empty. I can empty because counting His graces has awakened me to how He cherishes me, holds me, passionately values me. I can empty because I am full of His love. I can trust. Ann Voskamp

(Source: , via minidlamini)

814 notes
When she thinks to herself in her father’s language, she knows sons and daughters don’t leave their parents’ house until they marry. When she thinks in English, she knows she should’ve been on her own since eighteen. Sandra Cisneros (The House on Mango Street)

(Source: yesixicana, via neonnubian)

3,918 notes

when you feel under the weather is the best time to put on red lipstick, then mark your territory with red lip marks, soup bowls, mugs, tissues. 

red, red, red, red. 

(Source: thatkindofwoman, via onedandco)

482 notes
I could start fires with what I feel for you.

(Source: pickydreams, via minidlamini)

100,584 notes
 

For those of us who live at the shoreline
standing upon the constant edges of decision
crucial and alone
for those of us who cannot indulge
the passing dreams of choice
who love in doorways coming and going
in the hours between dawns
looking inward and outward
at once before and after
seeking a now that can breed
futures
like bread in our children’s mouths
so their dreams will not reflect
the death of ours:

For those of us
who were imprinted with fear
like a faint line in the center of our foreheads
learning to be afraid with our mother’s milk
for by this weapon
this illusion of some safety to be found
the heavy-footed hoped to silence us
For all of us
this instant and this triumph
We were never meant to survive.

And when the sun rises we are afraid
it might not remain
when the sun sets we are afraid
it might not rise in the morning
when our stomachs are full we are afraid
of indigestion
when our stomachs are empty we are afraid
we may never eat again
when we are loved we are afraid
love will vanish
when we are alone we are afraid
love will never return
and when we speak
we are afraid our words will not be heard
nor welcomed
but when we are silent
we are still afraid

So it is better to speak
remembering
we were never meant to survive

Audre Lorde, Litany for Survival 

(Source: monaeltahawy, via halmaan)

202 notes